My Mother Larraine, The Joyful One By Dionne Farris June 7th ‘08
I was speaking with a good friend the day before yesterday, and we got on the subject of my mom. It started out something like this, she said…
“I’ll just shut up and sit in the background, cause it seems like every time I get up the nerve to come out of my shell, someone ends up not liking me, and I don’t like that feeling. It’s just easier that way, to just stay in the background. Even when I was younger, it was like that. People did not like me. I see people now that I went to high school with, and they’ll say to me “You are a really nice person.” Huh, yeah and to think, you wasted all that time not liking me.”
I say to her…
But what did you do in the situation? You wasted all that time not being who you are cause of those people. You wasted all that time not letting your light shine! You wasted all that time living by some one else’s hang-ups (that’s the first “Larraine truth”).
Hang-ups, honey my mother is not one for hang-ups. She’d say to me, “Dionne, you got too many hang-ups child.” My mom was the realest when I was growing up. She would give it to me straight, no chaser. In the moment though, I did not like it, but now, I can say thank you for that. Cause it shaped me into who I would become. And it helped me to face the truth of myself, my own shortcomings, my issues, and my hang-ups. These little gems are something that a lot of people don’t ever get when they’re growing up. This was an absolute blessing in my life. Why should you live by the conscience of another man? You’ve got to live by God’s conscience.
My mother has always been someone who has danced to the beat of her own drum, and when you hear her rhythm, you want to dance to it too. You find yourself being stirred up by that wonderful spirit about her. There is a shine and a joy about my mother that is unmatched. When I was younger of course, I didn’t appreciate it all the time, cause sometimes it out shined me, and my little self. But I’m sure and I know there were times when she was not at all happy. There were times when she was disappointed, hurt, frustrated, tired, and even angry (like time the time the cleaning man ruined her drapes…she’ll have to tell you that story). But she would always say to me “Dionne, don’t let no one steal your joy honey.” (and this is the second “Larraine truth”). She never let’s things or people bring her spirit down to long, cause you got to keep getting up child.
I can honestly say that I have never met any one like my mother, and I don’t think I ever will. She is a one of a kind. She has shown me what it means to build and grow a relationship with God. I remember when I was small, we’d go to church, come home and listen to more church music, for the whole day. She would put on James Cleveland, Shirley Caesar, or someone like that. There was this song called “No Charge” (I’m sure most of you know it), well she would sing this song to me, and of course I could not stand it! But what happened in these kinds of moments were the lessons of life. I find myself turning on the ‘am’ stations for that same familiar peace that was so gently bestowed on me as a child.
You all know she was a teacher, and a great one (I say that because it’s the truth). Her past students would come back just to say “Hi Ms. Farris.” They loved her. I can remember coming to her class one time when I was in about the first grade, and checking out the scene. My thought was and I said it to her later, “You’re a mean teacher!” She said “I’m not mean Dionne, I have to tell these kids the truth (this it the third “Larraine truth”) They need some one who is going to stay on them, be concerned about them and want to see them do good in school honey child.” Of course I did not understand then, but what I understand now is that that was love, simple and pure. She has a passion for people that endures. She cares deeply, she loves hard, and she gives big. Her heart is as big as the sky. And I know you all know this, which is why she is being honored today.
Mom, you are the one who has shown me love, truth and joy. I know this because I show my daughter (Tate) the same way you showed me. Each day I learn to appreciate you more and more and I’m glad that I am wise enough to know to give you your flowers now. This is my flower to you today. Smell its sweet fragrance, cause it comes from you. We would like nothing more than to physically be there with you on this very special occasion, but you know Tate and I are with you in spirit. All my best, to the best, I could ever have. My mother Larraine, The Joyful One.
God bless you on this day and everyday, Your loving daughter and granddaughter,
Dionne Yvette and Tate Sequoya
